The Evolution of Friendship

I talk a lot about beauty, but today I care less about what's on the outside, because what's on the inside is a helluva lot more important.

No one prepared me for the fact that most of the time women grow in and out of friendships, or that losing your best friend feels a lot like divorce. Who gets to keep the kids mutual friends?!

I've never been the kind of girl who had a posse of girlfriends beside her. I've always had my couple of close friends and everyone else was an acquaintance. I didn't think I needed anyone else, my best friend was basically my family, and I knew I'd have her in my life forever. I was so wrong.

As an adult woman, in a totally healthy exciting relationship with my guy, I still feel heartbreak over the female friendships that have faded throughout my life.

Recently I started feeling super down about humanity and girls being total brats in general, but then an amazing shift occurred. It's like what I went through, was a sort of layer shedding, so that I could start fresh with quality people who genuinely care, have common interests, and are as selfless as I find myself.

When Sammy left for Spring Training, my phone was off the hook with "acquaintances" offering to host girl's night in or put a dinner date on the calendar. I have one friend who's New Year Resolution was to schedule active dates instead of dinner dates- genius. I had a client bring me flowers for Valentine's Day, and another baking me treats, both knowing Sammy and I wouldn't be together. I'm super sick, and a new friend showed up at my apartment this morning with a bunch of "get well" supplies. Another friend dropped everything to come over and film a video tutorial for me, something I've been putting off for two years.

I'm blown away by humanity. Some people suck, but just when you think you have it all figured out, you usually learn you don't at all. Life is such a constant lesson. We're always changing and evolving, and friendships will too.

Always be kind. Always treat people the way you would like to be treated. Be the kind of friend you want to have. Be willing to let friendships go that don't provide you with compassion and love, but work on the ones that do. 

XO AJ

Photo of my sweet mom and I, because she's stuck with me ; )

One Day at a Time

 

By now you know Sammy and I are in a long distance relationship. What many of you don't know is why..

Sammy is a professional baseball player in the minor leagues with the Washington Nationals organization. Sucha mouthful. 

When we met, I knew NOTHING about baseball. I didn't know the difference between a ball and a strike, I assumed the Washington Nationals were in Washington state, and when Sammy said he was a catcher, I pictured him in the outfield trying to catch the balls guys hit. Told you, I knew NOTHING about baseball.

Sammy played guitar, and that was cool enough to me, the baseball thing didn't get much of my attention... until he left.

We lived in the same area and dated for only two months before the long distance life kicked in. I came to Chicago, and Sammy headed to Florida. He's lived all over the country the past four years, and we live together in the offseason, for four short months out of the year. As awful as it sounds, we make it work, and it's pretty freaking awesome.

During baseball season, I travel to see him, and he's never been able to come home and see me during those 8 months he's away. This year, we had a flight booked for him to come home this week for three days. I've probably never been more excited for anything. He's never experienced Chicago in the summer, he hasn't even been to our new apartment yet, (we moved March 1st- he left for Spring Training February 1), and three days of no baseball sounds like a dream for this girl.

Days before his trip, I was finishing up our apartment, hanging gallery walls, buying new towels and stocking the fridge. I was out for margaritas with some girlfriends when I got a rough phone call, "I have to tell you the hardest thing I've had to tell you yet..."

Now, baseball life isn't easy. The minor leagues aren't exactly glamorous. We've been through a LOT. So those words, mean business, and I immediately feared the worst.

Sammy explained he'd have to play for another team within the organization temporarily, as they were making lots of moves, and he wouldn't be able to come home. As brutal as that is, it could be worse, way worse, so we tried to find the silver linings.

We're really great at keeping each other positive, and are both super determined people. Sammy embraced the opportunity the best he could, and I was proud of his determination.

Two days later I got a crazy phone call. Sammy's team, the Syracuse Chiefs, Triple-A Affiliate for the Nationals, collected money to fly me out to instead go see Sammy. Humanity sometimes leaves me speechless.

So that's why I didn't blog the last couple days. I was busy being serenaded, laying at the pool, going on donut dates and being the proudest girl at the ball park. I got to watch as Sammy offensively went 2-4, with 3 RBIs and called a game in which Pedro Encarnacion went 6 innings only giving up 2 hits and 1 run while recording 8 k's and 0 walks!

Thank you to the Chiefs, for giving us a few days together, they go a LONG way, and mean so much.

XO AJ

Love is everything.

As I type this, my suitcase is at the door, I'm in those perfect yoga pants I mentioned yesterday, I'm drinking David's Tea, and I have butterflies Pterodactyls in my stomach.

I'm headed to Columbus, to see the love of my life. By 5:00 EST today, I'll be whole again.

Being in a long distance relationship isn't always easy, but neither is living in the same place or under the same roof as the one you love.

Many question how I trust Sammy, or how we maintain the excitement, communication... normality. How do YOU? Near or far, relationships are work. It's about finding that person who is worth it to you. And more importantly, you're just as worth it to them.

It's not always glamorous being in a long distance relationship, but lemme tell you, for me it's a HELL of a lot better than settling for someone in my zip code. Sure I could date someone in Chicago... but they're not Sam Palace, therefore, I am not interested.

It's hard to really put the memories into text, but before Sammy, I thought I understood love and commitment. I thought I knew security and what it meant to share a life with someone. In a sense, I really did. I was in a long relationship, five yeaaaars long. I didn't realize until being in a healthy relationship, how UNhealty that nasty one really was. Believe me when I say... I was a product of some stupid verbal abuse. I was foolish! We had a joint bank account, (judge me, you should!). We moved across the country together more than a couple times. We had something that could have been the real thing. I hoped for it. I worked for it. BUT HEAR ME! It wasn't IT. This isn't easy to document. I'm absolutely embarrassed. BUT. There are more of the "old me" out there. You MIGHT be reading this! And IF you are... IF you're in that... IF you know a girlfriend who is... you have the power to end it.

There is such a thing as that IT! IT is REAL. I am in IT. I know I am young, I know I have so much to learn, and I know that there is that chance that I am wrong. I am not naive to the world and today. But I am undoubtably with the most amazing match for me.

Life is so stinkin' short. We are only given one shot you guys. We aim to get married one time...

I'm so thankful for being with such a remarkable human being. The guy I can't help but fantasize about being the perfect dad. The boy with the most beautiful family. The soul that my family accepts and appreciates. The one who cherishes ME.

Long distance isn't always glamourous. But it isn't about distance at all. It's about loving and being IN LOVE with YOUR PERSON.

You have the power to be picky. To really want nothing less than your dream man...

DO. NOT. SETTLE.

If you do... you've just decided that at some point, you'll start over. Let's end that. Lets wait it OUT. Lets be patient for THE ONE.

Love LOVE. It's so magnificent. LOVE IS JUST EVERYTHING. It's not something to downplay. Or need to  justify. It IS PURE, but flawed, and deserves to be reciprocated.

XO AJ

Growing STRONGER

In the beginning of relationships, it takes time getting comfy. You don't know if he'll like your taste in music and he doesn't know if you're truly THIS awesome or just on your best behavior.

Then things shift a bit, you both get comfortable, maybe even too much so. But it's a beautiful place of security, an unspoken understanding that you have a companion. You're SHARING your LIFE.

I give up my preferred side of the bed four months a year, and then before I can even get sick of him, he's gone again. Missing someone is one heck of a strong feeling. I try to remind myself that patience is passion, tamed. Sammy's lifestyle playing baseball has really become our lifestyle. We're constantly checking flights and I'm always reworking my scheduled clients, (you're all SO understanding and I'm forever grateful). I know it's hard to imagine a relationship like that working and being incredible, but it IS.

When he leaves I usually struggle and mope a bit. Actually I mope severely. This year, I've been ok. I'm at peace with our situation, and it surely helps that baseball season and wedding season are the same season.

I'm in a new relationship with old Chicago. We flirt and go on dates and get giddy bragging to our friends. We're in lust, and though we do miss our Sammy, we're going to be just fine.

XO AJ

Emilia Jane // Sammy & AJ

One of my dearest friends Emilia documented the love I have for Sammy, and the love he has for his guitar ; ) Emilia not only captured our love, but had some SUPER sweet things to say about us on her blog with more images!

Thank you for the sweet photos Em : )

XO AJ

Washington Post // Sammy Palace

As much as I love talking about nail polish and cap sleeves, one of my favorite things to deliver is inspiration.

My love was posted in the Washington Post a few days ago, and I can’t help but share it! [CLICK HERE FOR GOOSEBUMPS] 

You don’t have to be a baseball fan to be a Sam Palace fan. When we met, baseball was the last thing on my mind—- I didn’t even know the difference between a ball and a strike. But Sammy was this dreamy guitar playin flirt, who at the time was the perfect candidate for my summer fling. We’ve been long distance for three years now, and he inspires me every single day. 

Sammy’s story is a long one, it’s incredible, exhausting, RARE… and his own. It’s not one that he shares, or I share even. It’s too long… hard to understand it if you’re not in it. The minor leagues are so close yet so far from the glamorous televised big leagues.

No matter what kind of day I’ve had, it’s nothing compared to his- yet he NEVER complains! No matter how much work goes seemingly unnoticed, he doesn’t slow down. He’s beating the odds every game, every homestand, every season.

This article is just a TINY itty bitty glimpse at Sammy’s story. I hope it inspires you too! STAY TUNED.

XO AJ

Making Time for

Today I’m in deep thought about relationships and love… how we spend our time- or lack there of really- nurturing our relationships and showing gratitude. We’re all guilty of acting busier than we are.

I just read that dual-income couples could only find 12 minutes a day to talk with each other. There are 168 hours in a week.

So lets say you work 10 hour days 5 days a week and sleep 8 hours per night, that leaves 62 HOURS for anything you decide! I’m sure more than 84 minutes can be found to dedicate to the person loved the most.

Try not to take time for granted, especially with the person you’ve chosen to spend your life with.

Some of us only have the phone.

Love, AJ